I live in the northeast and spring has officially started, although you really can’t tell just looking at the weather (it’s supposed to be a brisk 25 degree day today). Unlike our more favored friends in the south, true wedding planning doesn’t begin until spring as many brides do not like planning for winter weddings. Because of that, I decided that the change in season should help usher in some new topics: Weddings! At the very least, they will be in season, at most they are expensive and you might find some tips to help you save thousands.
The average cost of a wedding in the US is approximately $25,000. It certainly doesn’t help that, we are not taught to haggle for anything unless we’re buying cars or houses. We see a price tag and we are sure that we either have to pony up or find a store we can afford. However, that’s what the sales people want us to think. If we don’t haggle, they make more money so they’re not going to tell us that we can get any kind of discounts. When it comes to weddings, things are even worse. They play on our emotions to better deplete our bank accounts (or for the more impulsive among us, inflate our credit card balances).
There are many thrifty wedding blogs out there. However, I struggled to find advice that was sensible. It seems that there was very little balance between having a nice wedding and having a cost effective wedding. Some of the advice ranged anywhere from “don’t invite any of your cousins” to “make your own wedding dress”. I felt that some of the tips were not always helpful. What if I like (most of) my cousins and I am not crafty enough to make my own place cards, let alone a wedding dress? Wanting a cost effective wedding doesn’t mean I have to walk down the aisle with paper flowers or ask my guests to bring their own cakes. Furthermore, most people will tell you that what you save in the little DIY projects is not enough to offset the stress of time constraints and the million other things you can’t outsource. The truth is, while weddings are big business, couples still have leverage and that leverage can be used to hold on to some of our hard earned money.
1) Negotiate yesterday, negotiate today, negotiate tomorrow. No price is set in stone. Everything you pay for can be negotiated to a better price or something else of value can be added to your package. Here are some things I negotiated for and got:
- 10% off the catering
- Complementary up lights from the venue
- My photographer had a Picture/Video/Photo booth package. I didn’t care for the photo booth and requested he replace it with a DJ. (He never said that was an option, I asked.)
- I negotiated for a bigger flush mount album
- The baker was offering 10% off for anyone who booked their wedding on the day of the wedding show
2) Look for packages. They want and need people to come and spend money. So if you do the leg work for them they will reward you.
- My groom gets $40 off his tuxedo for every adult rental. There are 7 males in my wedding party. With only 1 boy, the 6 men add up to a free tux for him.
- My make-up artist will give me a discount for every one of my girls.
3) Remember that you’re not the only one who needs a break. Weddings are expensive for everybody. Not just the bride and groom. Remember that your attendants have to spend a lot of money to be a part of your special day and they are doing you a favor. Be kind to their budget.
- My female attendants got 20% off for buying their dresses at the same store I got my dress.
- I told them what color but I did not impose uniform shoes on them because I wanted them to be able to use what they had in their closet if that option presented itself.
4) Learn to say ‘No’. Unless someone is financially contributing to your wedding, do not allow them to dictate what happens on your day. Many people do not have boundaries and will try to give their 2 cents regarding who should or should not be invited. How this centerpiece would look better than that one, etc.
5) In direct contradiction to #2: be careful with the packages offered. It is important to consider the packages. However, not all of them will be for your benefit. Some packages need to be assessed against other non-wedding related options. Wedding stores tend to have a huge mark up on everything. While something like a bridal gown can’t really be found elsewhere, other things like your shoes and jewelry are easy to purchase from a non-wedding vendor. Because I wasn’t hasty, I was able to discover that the 20% discount offered on accessories from the store I got my dress from was not the best deal in town. I ended up finding my accessories for 1/2 of what the dress maker sells them for.
6) Give yourself time to shop around. We waited too long to get the MOB dress so my mom ended up paying a surcharge for a rush order. On the other hand, I shopped around for my dress, tried them on and knew exactly what I wanted. But because I had time, I was able to wait until there was a tax-free week-end in my state to make the purchase. This tip not only gives you time to find options, but it also gives you the bargaining power. Being pressed for time will stress you out and the people you deal with could take advantage of your situation to upsell you on things you don’t really need.
The tax rate in my state is 6.25%.
7) Remember that some things will only be used for a few hours and are really not all that important. *GASP* Did I just say that there might be something in your wedding that may not be that important? Yup! And I’d say it again. Do you really need to spend $50-60 on a card box? You will use it only for the purpose of collecting congratulatory cards from your guests. Unless Bill Gates is one of your guests and you know his renown generosity might attract a thief so you’re looking to get a finger print scanner hooked to that thing, what’s wrong with a $15 one? Keep it close to you and have one of your parents drop it off in a secure location for you. Once you’ve made your rounds and closed the box it has no more value. Same goes for a garter that your new husband is going to throw at a bunch of guys tackling each other for a piece of your undies. It serves no other purpose and you shouldn’t get anything over $12. There are many small expenses like these that can add up, be mindful.
8) There’s a right way and a wrong way to borrow for your wedding. If you’re putting your wedding on credit, stop. Just. Stop. You probably can’t afford it. Consumer debt is a huge problem in a consumer-driven society. People continue to get things they can’t afford at the expense of necessities. So far I’ve paid for everything on my credit card BUT a) I pay the balance in full every month (resulting in no interest) and I get 1.5 points for every $1 I spend. After 25,000 points (which take 5 years to expire) I get $250 in cash deposited into the account of my choice. So I’m essentially getting paid to use my credit card. If you are getting charged interest at the end of the month and/or you don’t have an incentive from your credit card company, you’re doing it wrong and the wedding is costing you more than you think.
The interest rate on credit cards can be as low as 7% for those with good credit and as much as 21%+ if your credit is not that great.
9) Know your (artistic) limitations. Overconfidence can make you penny wise and pound foolish. The people on etsy and pintrest, make it look easier than it is. Just because you think you can follow instructions from youtube on how to do that elaborate pop-up invitation doesn’t mean it will look the way you want it to. If you end up buying high end paper, ribbons and an industrial grade laser printer only to turn around and have to place a rush order for your invitations because your product was hideous, you end up spending more than you would if you had simply purchased the invitations to begin with. If you got a lifetime membership card to the talentless club at birth like I did, cut your losses and don’t attempt what you most likely cannot do.
I was able to save $150 on my invitations. I talk about that a little more in this post.
10) Cut out transportation costs. If a place of worship is not critical to your wedding proceedings, or if your religious officiant is willing to go anywhere you request, you can eliminate the need for your limo by having your ceremony and reception at the same place. Some places charge you an additional fee for the ceremony set up, so you can probably try to negotiate a further discount on your venue by asking if they will offer you a package deal/price.
Most limo companies run packages between $375-450.
These are you 10 tips for today. I hope they serve you well. They’ve certainly helped me. I am having the wedding I want to have, while savings thousands. Saving doesn’t mean I have to “settle” for things I don’t want. Ultimately, this is a one-day celebration of your love. The rest of your life is what matters most, don’t start it in the red.