“When a man loves a woman…”
Did I get your attention? Good. That’s kind of what I was going for. Now that you’re here, I can get something off my chest that I’ve been carrying around for a few weeks, maybe months.
Nothing makes my ass itch like when I see someone, usually on social media make a comment along the lines of: “marriage is just a pice of paper.” If you’re wondering why someone’s simple opinion (which they are entitled to) would bother me so much, allow me to explain. The issue isn’t their opinion, but the sheer ignorance that their opinion exposes.
Marriage does not define the quality of your relationship. Marriage does not validate your relationship. Marriage =/= together forever. Marriage =/= will never leave me. Marriage does not translate to loyalty or honesty. HOWEVER! If marriage is just a piece of paper, so is your social security card, your paycheck, your health insurance, etc. Yet, I see none of these same people giving up on these things in droves. If you do, please call me because I have a bank account and routing number they can deposit all those unwanted “useless pieces of paper” checks.
As a married woman, my personal relationship with my husband is not dependent on the piece of paper we picked up from city hall for $25 on a warm June afternoon. But you know what doe depend on that piece of paper? Him giving me health insurance, me giving him dental.
Me knowing that, although he can leave, he has a responsibility enforceable by courts all over the world, towards me and any children we might have.
The security and piece of mind that, knowing we are each other’s beneficiaries of death benefits brings. Because if one of us drops dead, the immediate loss of income will not leave the other one homeless.
The $25 “piece of paper” allows us to be each other’s surrogate, which is crucial in a family of 2 working adults. He can legally speak on my behalf and I can do the same for him. That way, if I have a work obligation and can’t be present for something important, his word becomes as good as mine. Not because our relationship is superior to anyone else’s. But because our obligations became as intertwined as our interests.
So is marriage just a piece of paper? Of course. As long as you keep ignoring the financial, social, health, and legal benefits it affords us.